SLPL '19 Top Ten Reasons to Join

Top Ten Reasons to Join the Santa Lechuga Power League

Why join our league? You mean, besides our long and storied history? Here just ten of the myriad of reasons you should join:

1. Because It’s the Easiest Fantasy League You’ll Ever Join

You pick ten hitters and five pitchers, we track home runs and strikeouts, we award the champs. It’s that easy. From our league’s history: “…the league made it easy for lazy owners to sit back and do nothing for an entire season, a comfort enjoyed by many actual Major League Baseball owners.”

2. Because We Have Our Own Bobblehead

Seriously, who doesn’t like a bobblehead? Ours is the Bobblehead-of-Lettuce, which unfortunately wreaked havoc back in 2001. But it is a bobblehead. And it was inspired by favorite '70’s Indians star outfielder Oscar Gamble. The likeness, I’m sure you will agree, is uncanny.

3. Because We Have a Hall-of-Fame Death Pool

Their major contributions to the world already behind them, baseball Hall-of-Famers will never get the glory they received on the day they were inducted into the Hall-of-Fame until their funerals. We honor living HOFers by putting them into a Death Pool and hoping they will soon receive that final glorious moment in the sun … before they are buried or cremated.

4. Because Everyone Needs a Distraction

Creativity experts have found that to be productive and creative amidst all your hard work everyone needs a good distraction. Five to ten minutes a day on the SLPL website to check the standings and to see if any Hall-of-Famers have died and -- BOOM! -- you will be more productive and creative for the rest of the day.

5. Because $100 Will Get You a Season’s Worth of Entertainment

For less than the cost of two tickets to an actual MLB baseball game — after you count the cost of two meals, two churros, 12 beers, and parking — you can get seven months of entertainment out of the SLPL. Seven months versus a three-hour game at which you spent half the time in the bathroom because of all that beer you drank is really quite the deal.

6. Because You Won’t Get Lost In the Crowd

Join one of those professional fantasy leagues on CBS Sportsline or the like and you’ll get lost in the crowd. Here, we’ve got, what, maybe 24, maybe 48 teams. That’s it. And here, everyone in the league knows someone else in the league, which means that you’re not just playing anonymous fantasy lotto … you’re playing with friends and/or family that are as dopey as you.

7. Because A Lot of People Win A Lot of Money

We doled out 10 payouts last season with the smallest payout being $175. Every single dollar of the $3,720 we collected through ownership fees and trade fees was paid back to the champs. Because that’s how we do things around here.

8. Because We Have Our Own Blog

Okay, so it's not a very good blog, and it oftentimes goes off in wild directions that have nothing to do with baseball, the league, sports, or anything to do with this planet, but it’s wacky and fun and stupid and dopey and unpredictable and insipid and offensive and defensive and vague and loving. Best of all, it features the “Sunday Morning WTF?!,” which highlights the single most WTF?! thing we came across the previous week. Only on the SLPL blog.

9. Because Hitler Hates Us

And with good reason. Interestingly, though, at the end of his rant he offers good advice for being a good owner.

10. Because Reasons 1 through 9 Should Be Enough

Any one of the previous nine reasons should be enough to convince you to join, but combined -- and this is Reason #10 -- it’s a complete no-brainer.

Come join the Santa Lechuga Power League, the Best Fantasy Baseball League In the Universe (Because We Said It Is)! Getchyer roster in today.

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