The Championship Seriezez are off to a raucous start, Dongwhipped owner Kevin Klinkhamer is back in first place Overall, and SLPL Commissioner Rube Furrow is scouting out new and different fantasy sport options. Despite all the great things he heard about the sports in Australia, he appears to be striking out down under. To whit:
I'm asking my mates at SLPL because I know them to be some of the more savvy sportsmen in the universe (why else would they participate in SLPL?). But I sat in the grandstands in a green field in Dubbo, Australia, for a good 30 minutes yesterday and tried to figure out what these buggers were doing. Their activity seemed sort of like a "sport" in that men tried to strike a ball with a stick, much like baseball and the San Francisco 49ers' current roster. And the other participants mostly stood around and did nothing. Again, much like baseball. Beyond that, there seemed to be no rhyme or reason for anything anybody was doing, up to including some weird bit of jogging between some sticks posted in the ground. I wondered the point of it all, but came up empty. Can anybody help?
How Do I Convert This to Fantasy Points?
Um. Er. What?
If anyone can help, please email firstname.lastname@example.org.
Whiskey?! Tango?! Foxtrot?! Australia?!?! You call that a sport? I mean, seriously, W?! T?! F?!
Okay, let's look at the video.
Uh, oh. I hope she didn't mean that video!
Whiskey?! Tango?! Foxtrot?! kindly chicken lady. Can I ask that next time you be more specific, please? I mean, seriously, W?! T?! F?!
Props to Reclaiming My Time co-owner Dan Klinkhamer for sending this along. Cool concept. Makes me all nostalgic and weepy for all the mitts I owned over the years. Whiskey?! Tango?! Foxtrot?! nostalgia and baseball. Next thing you know we'll be plowing down our corn field and driving to Boston in our VW minibus. I mean, seriously, W?! T?! F?!
Dongwhipped owner Kevin Klinkhamer just moved Into first place Overall, which is WTF?!-worthy because it has been a while since a team has moved into first place this late in the season. Usually, someone takes over first in, like, June, then holds the spot until we crown them Regular Season Champ. Not this year, though. We still don't know who's going to win the Regularly season. Whiskey?! Tango?! Foxtrot?! fantasy baseball gods. What have we done to deserve such an awesome fantasy baseball year? I mean, seriously, W?! T?! F?!
Jim Klinkhamer (2007)
This particular member of the front offices of the Santa Lechuga Power League ate a hotdog (or two), tipped-and-drank a beer (or more), and made a toast last night during the Chicago Cubs game in tribute to former league owner Jim Klinkhamer, the most fitting thing we could think to do to honor the man.
Those closest to Jim are still smarting and in shock, as you can imagine. The outpouring of love and support has been amazing, though. A long scroll through Jim's Facebook page show just how beloved Jim was and how many lives he touched.
There are two messages from SLPL owners we wanted to share. The first came via a league trade from Deeger’s Dogs owner DJay Andersen, who wrote about the former Overall League champ: "In tribute to my friend and college roommate Jim Klinkhamer, who got me into this league and always pushed me to make quick trades. R.I.P., bud."
The second message comes from Jim's sister (in-law) Sue Klinkhamer, co-owner of Reclaiming My Time, via Facebook:
The crew here at Santa Lechuga Power League is taking our caps off and lowering the outfield pennants today for the passing of former league owner -- and 2010 Overall Champ — Jim Klinkhamer, brother to larger-than-life owner Dan Klinkhamer, brother-in-law to owner Sue, uncle to owners Kevin Klinkhamer and Julie Pankoke, uncle-by-default to owner Aaron Pankoke, friend to many more owners in the league, dad to a batch of kids, husband, and dear, dear friend to a slew of great folks from his years on earth who are all saddened and heartbroken to hear the news of his passing.
The Santa Lechuga Power League encourages all team owners to grab a hotdog and tip a beer in Jim's honor during tonight's Cubs game. This one's for you, Jim Klinkhamer.
Commission Rube Furrow, who is in first place in the Overall Standings - WTF?!, indeed — shares this with the comment, "I could watch this all day" Whiskey?! Tango?! Foxtrot?! Over-talented, strong-armed rookie. I mean, seriously, W?! T?! F?!
This comes from Dongwhipped owner Kevin Klinkhamer, who thinks bizarre stuff is overtaking the MLB. Kevin says:
"What the hell is going on this season?!?! We've already had two people who caught two foul balls at a game (with one guy doing it on consecutive pitches) this MLB season. Now we move into fair territory as this guy in Toronto catches two home runs in the same damn inning ... with a sweet one-handed snag on the second HR."
2 homers, 1 inning.
This fan caught two (2) home runs in the same inning.
They should really make themselves less mockable:
I can’t stop laughing at this picture from that white people march today. pic.twitter.com/zgXQG051ZQ— andy lassner (@andylassner) August 5, 2018
The man on the left believes he is genetically superior to the man on the right. pic.twitter.com/80cAhwMtbS— Mikel Jollett (@Mikel_Jollett) August 5, 2018
Proud Boys left their cars/trucks in Vancouver Fred Meyer parking lot & chartered bus to Portland. Store manager had them all towed while they were in Portland at $1000 per pop
Whiskey?! Tango?! Foxtrot?! you superior people, you?! I mean, seriously, W?! T?! F?!
Whiskey?! Tango?! Foxtrot?! you son of a toilet-scrubber?! I mean, seriously, W?! T?! F?!
It's not as if America needed another dirt poor non-skilled toilet-scrubber during the Depression. We had plenty of natural born Americans of our own who needed jobs and would have done anything to get them, including scrubbing toilets. What merit did Mary Ann MacLeod have? Why should she been allowed to come here and take a job, money, a desperately needed livelihood, from an American?
For the price of this pure idiocy, 10,000 vets could get a $1000 apartment for a year.
You want to honor the military?— Stonekettle (@Stonekettle) July 21, 2018
Instead of making them march through the capitol like fucking Soviets parading through Red Square, give them a day off with their families and spend the money on medical care, education, and better equipment. https://t.co/aGV7FKvFnT
They just can't help being craven heinous idiots.
With all the shitty things going on in the world, it's important to remember that humans can be pretty amazing when they have to be.— Stonekettle (@Stonekettle) July 8, 2018
The first group of kids is this morning safely out of the cave. https://t.co/DeYa20tgcW
By way of Dongwhipped owner Kevin Klinkhamer in the Twitterverse (catch him at @kpklink78), we got a message saying "Not on consecutive pitches like the guy in Oakland, but still unbelievable this has occurred twice in one half of a season."
Baseball is a game of redemption.
Way to make the play! (The second time 😬)
📽:@Cut4 pic.twitter.com/N51AxeYQqg— Yahoo Sports (@YahooSports) June 30, 2018
It's a topsy-turvy world when we quote a priest, especially on Father's Day, but, I mean, he is a father. And he speaks truth. Read his whole Twitter thread below. Enjoy the other Tweets while you're at it.
Anyway, idiots, all the spineless and cowardly GOP senators and representatives who are allowing this to happen are complete complete and total idiots. So, too, is every single person who deludes themselves into thinking they hold any moral high ground while still supporting these heinous idiots in this administration who are creating concentration camps for children of desperate people seeking asylum. Whiskey?! Tango?! Foxtrot?! you absolute Foxtrotting, lowlife imbeciles. Seriously, W?! T?! F?!
Like many, I've resisted using this word but it's time: the deliberate and unnecessary separation of innocent children from their parents is pure evil. It does not come from God or from any genuinely moral impulse. It is wantonly cruel and targets the most vulnerable. 1/— James Martin, SJ (@JamesMartinSJ) June 18, 2018
Now @SpeakerRyan imagine Liza frozen in terror alone in a warehouse, Charlie tearing at the pants of a stranger as he screams for his mom, and Sam wrapped in a scratchy blanket sobbing on a cold slab of concrete. Happy Father’s Day. https://t.co/Zpt8jmchik— Carole Barrowman (@BarrowmanCrime) June 17, 2018
Not 1 Republican! Not one Republican will stand against the savage tearing away of children from their childhoods. Not 1 Republican. You lowlife, ugly, subhuman waste. You disgrace your country for all time... https://t.co/nPPzj6sYOc— Ron Perlman (@perlmutations) June 18, 2018
It's hard enough to catch 1 foul ball.— Cut4 (@Cut4) June 10, 2018
Imagine catching 2 in the same game on CONSECUTIVE pitches. pic.twitter.com/jFwHWLkZ22
That there is a truckload of crazy, all consolidated in writing onto a carefully-manicured if poorly-spelled crazy truck. Whiskey?! Tango?! Foxtrot?! crazed driver? Seriously, W?! T?! F?!
As we have in seasons past, we have decided to be respectful to all the mothers in this league for at least one day of the season by renaming our regular Sunday series “Sunday Morning WTF?!” in honor of Mother’s Day to “Sunday Morning WTH?!?!” As in, “What the heck?!” or, “Whiskey Tango Hotel?” Happy Mother’s Day to all you mothers out there!
We have also decided to revive a league favorite, which former SLPL owner Scott “Scoot Bigs” Allen shared with us way back in ’11. Scott said that it is a tradition in his country of origin to celebrate Mother’s Day by dancing around a scooter. We didn’t believe him until we dug up this video on the Interwebs. (BTW, Scoot’s the one wearing jorts.)
So, er, Cameltowing, Inc. owner David Edison, do you suppose you can hold your auditions a bit further from Endive Stadium, especially so close to game time?
Whiskey?! Tango?! Foxtrot?!, Eddie?! You have to block traffic to all our fans just so you can run your cab company!?!? I mean, seriously, W?! T?! F?!
Yesterday, we praised Mike Skoien of Maddog's Maulers — one of our most enthusiastic owners — for taking over first place. Today, he's in second place.
Whiskey?! Tango?! Foxtrot?!, Mr. Enthusiasm?! You can't hold the lead for more than a day!?!? I mean, seriously, W?! T?! F?!
Can I not go into the cage? If I go into the cage, can I keep my back against the back of the cage? Can I prevent the chum from getting in the cage with me? How about I just stay on the boat, eating the all-you-can-eat shark fin soup?
I will not name the name of the restaurant that led to my having this reaction, but, yes, I have had this exact reaction:
Apologies for being on again, off again, on again, and now off again. Check this, though: When we've been able we've been updating the standings and stats, even when we haven't been updating this hear blog. So, check those out, even if the blog hasn't been updated. Things should be up and running normally again come Thursday. Be good until then.
Whiskey?! Tango?! Foxtrot?!, us?! I mean, seriously, W?! T?! F?!
Sure, this video meme is lots of years old, but why should that stop us from squeezing an annual blog entry out of it?
His advice at the end, it is still sound today.
Whiskey?! Tango?! Foxtrot?!, you whacky, crazy dude, we aren't that bad?! I mean, seriously, W?! T?! F?!