SANTA LECHUGA POWER LEAGUE '18


The Best Damn Fantasy Baseball League In the Universe!

Fake News! Fake News! The Romaine Is Safe, I Tell You!

Over my cold, dead chompers!!!

Standings and Stats . Make A Trade . Pay Already

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Now That's A Mural!

We don't even have an in-person draft, but if we did we would hold it at this location.

Lettuce Mural

Standings and Stats . Make A Trade . Pay Already

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@MLBHR

Via Dongwhipped owner Kevin Klinkhamer, who forwarded it from Gus' Gaedel owner Julie Pankoke, comes this indispensable-to-any-SLPL-owner Tweet handle: @MLBHR. You're welcome.

Standings and Stats . Make A Trade . Pay Already

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Yes, I Have Crumbled On the Toilet Before

In this Sunday Morning Whiskey?! Tango?! Foxtrot?!, we finally have a legit WTF?! …

I will not name the name of the restaurant that led to my having this reaction, but, yes, I have had this exact reaction:

Tank of corn collapses and starts fire
Whiskey?! Tango?! Foxtrot?!, restaurants that lead to this bathroom reaction?! I mean, seriously, W?! T?! F?!
Standings and Stats . Make A Trade . Pay Already

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Trades Processed, Standings and Stats Updated, Divisions Aligned, Blog Entry Created, and ...

…we're sorry for the delay. It's been a wild coupla weeks, but we're up and running again, at least for a few days.

Hope you've all been well. Now, enjoy the season!

Standings and Stats . Make A Trade . Pay Already

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Sunday Morning WTF?! Someone Is Not Happy We Moved Into Germany

In this Sunday Morning Whiskey?! Tango?! Foxtrot?!, we apologize for being dark … and then going dark again …

Apologies for being on again, off again, on again, and now off again. Check this, though: When we've been able we've been updating the standings and stats, even when we haven't been updating this hear blog. So, check those out, even if the blog hasn't been updated. Things should be up and running normally again come Thursday. Be good until then.

Whiskey?! Tango?! Foxtrot?!, us?! I mean, seriously, W?! T?! F?!

Standings and Stats . Make A Trade . Pay Already

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How to: Make a Trade ... And, We Might Be Going Dark

As an owner of a shiny new 2018 Santa Lechuga team, it's important that you understand how this ol' boy of a fantasy league runs. So today we are talking about trades.

You have eight trades in the bank; you pre-paid for those when you paid your entry fees. (Wait a minute … have you paid your entry fees yet? If not, we can't process any trades for you. So, please pay your ownership entry fees, then make your trades, 'k?) You might have a couple more trades for paying before Opening Day. And maybe even more for recruiting new owners. You can use these trades any time before the end of the Regular Season. When you make a pre-paid trade it goes in effect the day after you submitted it. (Generally speaking, we aren't hard-alphas about this. If you make a trade one minute after midnight even though you tried to get it in at 11:59 pm, we're going to process it for you that same morning. The key is, make sure the trade is waiting for us when we roll out of bed in the morning.)

To submit a trade move your cursor of the Home button above, then click Make Trade. That'll take you to the nifty form. From there, fill out the form, double-check everything, then hit Submit at the bottom of the form.


Just about as easy as it sounds.

Oh, and don't forget: We don't give refunds on unused trades. So, you know, use them.

Finally, e are headed to Newport in a few hours, then heading to Kalamazoo this weekend, then to Denver early next week, so … there might be a bit of darkness around here, depending on our Internet connections along the way. As always, feel free to make trades but please understand that they may not be processed until we get back from all this travel nonsense.

Standings and Stats . Make A Trade . Pay Already

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Some Administrative Stuff

With everything up and running and with you all able to navigate the site, we now need your help. Please:
  • Check your roster. Go to Standings and click the "Rosters" tab. Now, find your team and review your roster. Does it look right? Did I accidentally give you Jonah A. Arenado instead of Nolan Arenado? We ask because we had to enter each roster manually, which opens up the possibility that we made mistakes. So, if we made a mistake on your roster and gave you a wrong player, let us know ASAP. And don't rage-quit. Fixing our mistakes won't count as a trade, we promise.
  • Check your Hall-of-Fame Death Pool roster. This one is easier since we just copied-and-pasted directly from your submitted roster, but it's still a good idea to double-check.
  • Make note of your Hall-of-Fame Magic Number. There is no right or wrong here, but we want you to be aware of your Magic Number. It's the number in parentheses next to your team name. (We assigned the first 30 teams a Magic Number — a single number from 1 to 30 — based on the order in which they joined the league. So, the fifth team to join got Magic Number 5. For each remaining team, a Magic Number from 1 to 30 was drawn from a hat.
That should take care of the administrative stuff. While we continue to update our blog to point out other stuff as we think about it over the coming days, we will also try to coax a State of the League address from our commissioner, Rube Furrow.

Speaking of which, has anyone seen Rube? We heard he began a 1,000-stop 3,131-mile intercontinental pub crawl — starting in Madawaska, Maine, and ending in El Centro, California — the day after the World Series ended last year, but never heard whether he made it home.

Rube? Are you out there? Can you send us a message of some kind? We might start to get worried about you if you don't respond soon.

Standings and Stats . Make A Trade . Pay Already

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How to: Navigate Standings And Stats

If you haven't yet navigated to our standings, click "Standings and Stats" in the menu above (or the link below), then click through the tabs.

SLPL 2018 Stamdings

We encourage you to check in on the regular to keep track of what's happening in the league.

Standings and Stats . Make A Trade . Pay Already

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Sunday Morning WTF?! Someone Is Not Happy We Moved Into Germany

In this, the first of this season's Sunday Morning Whiskey?! Tango?! Foxtrot?!, we revisit an oldie by a goodie.

Sure, this video meme is lots of years old, but why should that stop us from squeezing an annual blog entry out of it?


His advice at the end, it is still sound today.

Whiskey?! Tango?! Foxtrot?!, you whacky, crazy dude, we aren't that bad?! I mean, seriously, W?! T?! F?!

Standings and Stats . Make A Trade . Pay Already

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We're Up and Running!

Our website is up-and-running!

Our stats and standings are up-and-running! As before, are using a mambo-jumbo spreadsheet that is converted to a webpage, so look for the tabs at the bottom of the page to navigate the various pages of information, including how our whopping pot is calculated and distributed.

Please do us a favor and go to the Rosters tab to take a look-see at your roster. What are you checking for? To make sure we didn’t bungle anything, which is wicked-easy to do when you’re manually entering 15 players for 36 teams players. If we made a mistake, let us know by making a trade here and explaining our mistake in the Message at the bottom of that page.

Once again, welcome to the 2018 Santa Lechuga Power League! Good luck!

Standings and Stats . Make A Trade . Pay Already

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Welcome to the 2018 SLPL Power League!

Thanks for joining the 2018 edition of the Santa Lechuga Power League! You will be happy to know:
  • We have 36 owners — same as last season — including two new co-owners and at least one wayward son who has returned to the league after being gone for a season or two
  • We have a whopping $3,500 pot!
  • Given said whopping pot, the minimum payout to any champ will be $175
  • Our website — your are looking at it right now — will be up-and-running fully by the end of the weekend
  • Our stats and standings should be up-and-running by the end of the weekend, too
Here are the standings from our stats provider through yesterday's big Opening Day:

2018_opening-day-standings

Welcome to the 2018 Santa Lechuga Power League! Good luck. We hope you enjoy the five-cent Tequila Poppers and our trademarked Cabbage-On-a-Stick!
Standings and Stats . Make A Trade . Pay Already

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Weston Livernois Crowned 2017 SLPL HOF Death Pool Champ!

Hey, look at us! We give out money when the season begins!

With the first pitch of today’s first game, LetsPlayCatch owner Weston Livernois was officially* crowned the 2017 winner of the Phil Rizzuto Memorial Hall-of-Fame Death Pool, thereby officially closing out the 2017 season. “I would like to thank Bobby Doerr for allowing me to scrape $200 out of the pot. His death means a lot to me.” Weston said after being crowned champ. “And before you get all mad for saying that, look, I'm a senior in high school. Every dollar I earn means a lot to me.”

*When we say "officially," we mean that as of right now we know of no other Hall-of-Famers who died before today’s first pitch since Bobby Doerr walked into the Iowa cornfields last November. If news stories come through that someone kicked it before this afternoon’s games, we'll have to revise our officialness status and see what shakes out.

For Those Interested In Such Things
Here’s how the Hall-of-Fame Death Pool points are scored: Points are earned by subtracting the reported age of the dirt-napper at the time of his death (rounded down to the most-recent birthday) from 100 and multiplying the result by 5. So:
• An 80-year-old would get 100-80=20*5=100 points.
• A 40-year-old would get 100-40=60*5=300 points.

And here’s how the Magic Number works: The team with the Magic Number closest to the Date-of-Death (DoD) will get an extra 25 points. If that team's Magic Number matches the DoD, the team will instead get 50 extra points.

For Those Creeped Out by Such Things
Here's how we justify to ourselves having a Hall-of-Fame Death Pool: "Their major contributions to the world already behind them, baseball Hall-of-Famers will never get the glory they received on the day they were inducted into the Hall-of-Fame until their funerals. We honor living HOFers by putting them into a Death Pool and hoping they will soon receive that final glorious moment in the sun … before they are buried or cremated."

Congratulations, Weston!
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The 2018 Season Has Officially Begun!


The SLPL Bobblehead-of-Lettuce


Good luck to one and all!

While we get our act together and set up the league, here are some MLB links — also found in the menu bar up top — you might find useful during the season:

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The 2018 SLPL Season Is Officially About To Launch

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More Than $44,000 Reasons to Join



Looking for a reason to join the Santa Lechuga Power League? Over the past 17 seasons we have given owners more than $44,000 reasons.

44 Thoursand Reasons

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There's Still One 2017 Champ To Be Crowned


For those who don't know, the Santa Lechuga Power League features a Hall-of-Fame Death Pool. Click here to see how it works. As stated in the rules, each season's Death Pool runs from first pitch of one season to the first pitch of the following season, then the champ is crowned. This means that we still have one payout to make for the 2017 season. Currently, LetsPlayCatch owner Weston Livernois stands to win the $200 if he can hold onto the lead for a bit more than 24 hours.

Incidentally, if you're skeeved out by our Death Pool, you are not required to play. You can opt out by leaving the HOF portion of your roster submission blank.
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ICYMI: Join the SLPL In Six Easy Steps


The Santa Lechuga Power League is a campy little fantasy baseball league. It’s no slick-CBS-Sportsline-type league where nobody knows anybody and everybody just wants to end up in the 51st-percentile or above to get bragging rights over a bunch of strangers. Instead, the SLPL is made up of family and friends and extended family and friends of brothers Joe Livernois and Tony Livernois, who run the thing for their own amusement and for the amusement of said family and friends and extended family and friends. And because Jay (as his family knows him) and Tony are simple-minded goofs, they run a simple, goofy little league with big-time payouts. Points are earned using home runs and strikeouts. That's it. Oh, and as a side bet we track the heartbeats of Hall-of-Famers in our exclusive (but entirely optional) Hall-of-Fame Death Pool. It’s that easy.

If you’re thinking about joining, here are six basic steps you need to complete to become a new owner:
  1. Learn the rules. Abide.
  2. See the payouts. Drool.
  3. Review our tutorial for picking a roster. Learn.
  4. Select your team and submit your roster. Good luck!
  5. Pay already. Like, before Opening Day so you can earn two free trades.
  6. Contact us. But only with compliments or questions. No whining. We hate whining. We hate whining so much that we almost sound like we are whining when we express how much we hate whining.
Plan on joining us in 2018, wontchya? Before saying no, see this list of ten reasons to join. Maybe that'll convince you.

And if you’re looking for a little light reading once the season gets started, why not catch up on the History of the SLPL or read up on the evil Bobblehead-of-Lettuce?

We hope you can join!
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FAQ About Paying Entry Fees Up Front


Question: I love that we are asking owners to pay up front. Doing it the last several seasons got rid of the half-assers and left the league to folks who really want to play. Question, though: You say the entry fee covers the ownership fee and up to eight trades. If I don't use all eight trades, can I expect a refund at the end of the season?
Nope. We encourage an active ownership group that's vying to win, not half-assers who sit around waiting for refunds because they forgot to use their trades. Use 'em or lose 'em, baby. Use 'em or lose 'em.

Question: What are the downsides to asking owners to pay $100 up front?
None, really. Our Pots continue to be big. Heck, last year's pop was the biggest ever, $3,720. Nifty, right?

Question: Upsides?
In addition to the fact that Commissioner Rube Furrow won't need to pull monies out of his own pockets each year to pay the winners, the league ended up with a higher proportion of owners who are real players and a lower proportion of apathetic owners (who always seem to be the ones who skip out on paying what they owe, anyway). Oh, and did we mention that our Pot last year got up to $3,720? Yeah, our owners got paid all that … and faster than previous seasons because we already had all the money to distribute.

Question: You mean payouts to champs didn't go down?
In fact, as mentioned above, payouts went up. A bunch. The minimum payout in 2017 was $175, which doubled the minimum payout from the 2014 season.

Question: How do I submit a team and pay my entry fee?
That's the spirit! Submit a roster here. Pay your entry fee here.
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In A World Without Decent Fantasy Baseball...


This video is now several years old, but we still love it. So much drama! So much action! So many drunk people! Now, these knuckleheads just need to sober up ...


The key takeaway? That the Santa Lechuga Power League fills the gaping vacuum in the universe known as “decent fantasy baseball.” How could you possibly not join?

By the way, where you see the date in the video for March 23, 2011? Yeah, ignore that. Think March 29, 2018. That's when you need to have your rosters to us for this season.

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Join the SLPL In Six Easy Steps

The Santa Lechuga Power League is a campy little fantasy baseball league. It’s no slick-CBS-Sportsline-type league where nobody knows anybody and everybody just wants to end up in the 51st-percentile or above to get bragging rights over a bunch of strangers. Instead, the SLPL is made up of family and friends and extended family and friends of brothers Joe Livernois and Tony Livernois, who run the thing for their own amusement and for the amusement of said family and friends and extended family and friends. And because Jay (as his family knows him) and Tony are simple-minded goofs, they run a simple, goofy little league with big-time payouts. Points are earned using home runs and strikeouts. That's it. Oh, and as a side bet we track the heartbeats of Hall-of-Famers in our exclusive (but entirely optional) Hall-of-Fame Death Pool. It’s that easy.

If you’re thinking about joining, here are six basic steps you need to complete to become a new owner:
  1. Learn the rules. Abide.
  2. See the payouts. Drool.
  3. Review our tutorial for picking a roster. Learn.
  4. Select your team and submit your roster. Good luck!
  5. Pay already. Like, before Opening Day so you can earn two free trades.
  6. Contact us. But only with compliments or questions. No whining. We hate whining. We hate whining so much that we almost sound like we are whining when we express how much we hate whining.
Plan on joining us in 2018, wontchya? Before saying no, see this list of ten reasons to join. Maybe that'll convince you.

And if you’re looking for a little light reading once the season gets started, why not catch up on the History of the SLPL or read up on the evil Bobblehead-of-Lettuce?

We hope you can join!
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Ten Reasons to Join the Santa Lechuga Power League

TL/DR (Too Long Didn't Read) version: You should join the league because reasons.

We have a good ten reasons to join the Santa Lechuga Power League. Getchyer rosters in by Opening Day, March 29, 2018. Recruit.

Now, the details:

While there are literally thousands of reasons to join the Santa Lechuga Power League -- last year alone the number of reasons equaled $3,720 -- we have listed our ten favorite reasons here.

Remember, you have until Thursday, March 29, at 1:05 pm Eastern time to submit your roster. Grab your spot quick-like by using this form.

Oh, and be sure to recruit some new owners. It's always fun to have a lot of fresh blood in the waters ... er ... fresh owners in the league.

Good luck picking your roster!
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Another Quick Note About Trades

For those who requested unlimited trades, yeah, sorry, that's not going to happen. Since every trade is entered manually, and since we don't get paid for doing any of that brutal and time consuming manual entry, we are keeping a limit. Upside: You can still trade up to 23 times — that’s nearly four trades per month — should you play your cards right. So, get to earning those free trades by paying early and get to recruiting three owners!

See the 2018 rules here | Submit a roster here | Pay your entry fee here | Adjust your roster here

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The 2018 Season Is Less Than Three Weeks Away!

The 2018 Santa Lechuga Power League season is less than three weeks away! We hope that your offseason was memorable, that your family is good, and that you missed us enough to want to join the 2018 season.

We have one big change to announce: Owing to several requests for us to allow more trades, we are going to allow up to seven more trades beyond the three extra trades we allowed last season.

So, here's how things will work to enter the league and to make trades:
  • The entry fee is $100, which must be paid in full up front. This covers your ownership fees ($20) and your first eight trades ($80).
  • If you pay your entry fee of $100 before Opening Day, March 29, 2018, you will earn two free trades.
  • If you don't pay your $100 entry fee before the season begins, you will have until April 12, 2018 to pay it. If we haven't received full payment from you by then, you will be deleted from the league. Divisions will be created after owner deletions have been made.
  • For every new owner you recruit into the league, up to three, you will earn a free trade.
  • You can buy up to ten more trades at $10 per. However, a trade will not go into effect until the day after you submit the trade or the day after we receive payment, whichever is latest.
Here are key links:
As always, we are always an email away if you have questions or comments. We hope you can join us again this season!

See the 2018 rules here | Submit a roster here | Pay your entry fee here | Adjust your roster here

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