The Best Damn Fantasy Baseball League In the Universe!

That Throw

In this Sunday Morning Whiskey?! Tango?! Foxtrot?!, we get all WTF?! about a mean throw …

Commission Rube Furrow, who is in first place in the Overall Standings - WTF?!, indeed — shares this with the comment, "I could watch this all day" Whiskey?! Tango?! Foxtrot?! Over-talented, strong-armed rookie. I mean, seriously, W?! T?! F?!
Standings and Stats . Make A Trade . Pay Already

Moving Into Fair Territory

And now we interrupt our ongoing political horrorshow to bring you a baseball related item …

Weird, right?

This comes from Dongwhipped owner Kevin Klinkhamer, who thinks bizarre stuff is overtaking the MLB. Kevin says:

"What the hell is going on this season?!?! We've already had two people who caught two foul balls at a game (with one guy doing it on consecutive pitches) this MLB season. Now we move into fair territory as this guy in Toronto catches two home runs in the same damn inning ... with a sweet one-handed snag on the second HR."

Thanks, Kevin!
Standings and Stats . Make A Trade . Pay Already

The Hell?

Ah, man, this has got to hurt.
Standings and Stats . Make A Trade . Pay Already

Define "Baseball Hero"

Courtesy of Maddog's Maulers owner Michael Skoien comes this excellent article. Says Michael: "This story needs no explanation…it just needs to be read in its entirety. This is who a 'Baseball Hero' is…" Thanks, sir.
Standings and Stats . Make A Trade . Pay Already

Cubs Fan Numbskull May Not Be The Numbskull We Thought He Was

Commissioner Rube Furrow shared a Tweet that has since been taken down about a numbskull at a Cubs game who took a ball away from a kid sitting in front of him.

Except, maybe there's more to the story?

Of course,
there's always more to the story, which may explain why the original Tweeter took the original Tweet down.
Standings and Stats . Make A Trade . Pay Already

Vince Livernois Crowned 2018 All-Star Champ (Assuming We Tracked Things Correctly)

2018 All Star

He got the Home Run Derby Points. He got the Judge, Trout, and Springer HR points. He got the Sale, Severino, and Scherzer K points. And though his hitters struck out five times and his pitchers gave up a dong, those losses weren't too much fo keep Vince Livernois and his Citizen Inane from winning the 2018 All-Star Championship in the Santa Lechuga Power League, the first official championship awarded for the 2018 season.* And, man, what an All-Star Game! Ten total HRs and 23 total strikeouts Man. For his win, Vince pulls a cool 200 clams out of the coffers and the adoration of 35 other owners who wish they could have won 200 cool clams. (Since in the end it may be more than $200, depending on league trading activity, we will be delivered Vince's winnings at the end of the season.) Congratulations to Vince Livernois!

*This assumes we didn't make any mistakes. Which is to say, we may have messed up some of the math here since we had to manually enter each of those ten home runs and 23 strikeouts for every team in the league. If we made any mistakes, please notify us ASAP so that we can make corrections. You will find our tracking under the All-Star Stats tab in our
boffo spreadsheet!

Standings and Stats . Make A Trade . Pay Already


28 Teams Jump Ahead In All-Star Standings


Twenty-eight teams took an early 250-point lead in the All-Star standings, which raises the question: "How the ever-loving eff do only 28 SLPL teams have Bryce Harper?!" Sure, he's not leading the league in HRs and he strikes out at an incredibly uncomfortable rate — Christ, is it possible he has 102 Ks already?!?! — but he's still a net positive of +127 so far this season, so, you know, he has that going for him. Oh, and the 2018 Derby trophy.


Who am I to talk? I'm sitting in third place in La División Culantro.

All-Star fun Tuesday night, after which will will crown our first championship of the season and hand out a $200 prize.

Good luck!

By the way, we're traveling tomorrow, which means we may not be able to announce the winner and update the website until Thursday morning. Sorry about that, folks.

Standings and Stats . Make A Trade . Pay Already


The All-Star Break Is Here!

2018 All Star

If you are unfamiliar, or just don't remember, here are the rules for the SLPL’s All-Star Championship, which will be crowned at the conclusion of the All-Star game Tuesday night:

How do I score points for the All-Star Standings?
During the Home Run Derby...

  • If a player on your roster wins the All-Star Home Run Derby, your team picks up 250 points

During the All-Star Game...
  • Hitters earn 150 points for every home run hit
  • Hitters lose 25 points for every K
  • Pitchers earn 25 points for every K
  • Pitchers lose 75 points for every homer surrendered

The team with the most combined points — Home Run Derby points plus All-Star Game points — will win the All-Star Championship.

BTW, points earned in this category are allocated exclusively to the All-Star Standings and are not allocated to the Overall Standings.

First up? Tonight's
Home Run Derby, worth 250 points.
Standings and Stats . Make A Trade . Pay Already


Thing of Beauty

Check this out, an immaculate inning.

Standings and Stats . Make A Trade . Pay Already

That's One Way To Do It

Boy, this is painful. Not to watch, but to be the cameraman in in the red shirt.

Standings and Stats . Make A Trade . Pay Already

Oppo Tacos Are Tasty

More fun from Dongwhipped owner Kevin Klinkhamer, who sent us this message: "SLPL down-on-the-farm report: Vlad Guerrero Jr. with the oppo a foxtrottin' tee!" Once again, thanks, Kevin!

Standings and Stats . Make A Trade . Pay Already

Doozy Doesn't Quite Do This Justice

Dongwhipped owner Kevin Klinkhamer sent us this message: "Ya know, we've really gotten away from posting instances like these the past couple years so might as well start again with a doozy." Thanks, Kevin!

Standings and Stats . Make A Trade . Pay Already

On the Fly, with None of This Weak Sauce Bounce Once or Twice Sierra!

Dongwhipped owner Kevin Klinkhamer sent us this awesome Tweet with the comment "People should get 20 points for Céspedes' HR on Saturday night. That is simply amazing...I mean, it's a covered garbage can!?!? And on the fly too, with none of that bounce once or twice Sierra!"
Standings and Stats . Make A Trade . Pay Already

Goat Jerseys

Another cool Twitter account to follow. This one posts jerseys from every era and sport. For example, here's a jersey I remember seeing:

Standings and Stats . Make A Trade . Pay Already


Always love a no-no.

Standings and Stats . Make A Trade . Pay Already


We're Up and Running!

Our website is up-and-running!

Our stats and standings are up-and-running! As before, are using a mambo-jumbo spreadsheet that is converted to a webpage, so look for the tabs at the bottom of the page to navigate the various pages of information, including how our whopping pot is calculated and distributed.

Please do us a favor and go to the Rosters tab to take a look-see at your roster. What are you checking for? To make sure we didn’t bungle anything, which is wicked-easy to do when you’re manually entering 15 players for 36 teams players. If we made a mistake, let us know by making a trade here and explaining our mistake in the Message at the bottom of that page.

Once again, welcome to the 2018 Santa Lechuga Power League! Good luck!

Standings and Stats . Make A Trade . Pay Already


Welcome to the 2018 SLPL Power League!

Thanks for joining the 2018 edition of the Santa Lechuga Power League! You will be happy to know:
  • We have 36 owners — same as last season — including two new co-owners and at least one wayward son who has returned to the league after being gone for a season or two
  • We have a whopping $3,500 pot!
  • Given said whopping pot, the minimum payout to any champ will be $175
  • Our website — your are looking at it right now — will be up-and-running fully by the end of the weekend
  • Our stats and standings should be up-and-running by the end of the weekend, too
Here are the standings from our stats provider through yesterday's big Opening Day:


Welcome to the 2018 Santa Lechuga Power League! Good luck. We hope you enjoy the five-cent Tequila Poppers and our trademarked Cabbage-On-a-Stick!
Standings and Stats . Make A Trade . Pay Already


Weston Livernois Crowned 2017 SLPL HOF Death Pool Champ!

Hey, look at us! We give out money when the season begins!

With the first pitch of today’s first game, LetsPlayCatch owner Weston Livernois was officially* crowned the 2017 winner of the Phil Rizzuto Memorial Hall-of-Fame Death Pool, thereby officially closing out the 2017 season. “I would like to thank Bobby Doerr for allowing me to scrape $200 out of the pot. His death means a lot to me.” Weston said after being crowned champ. “And before you get all mad for saying that, look, I'm a senior in high school. Every dollar I earn means a lot to me.”

*When we say "officially," we mean that as of right now we know of no other Hall-of-Famers who died before today’s first pitch since Bobby Doerr walked into the Iowa cornfields last November. If news stories come through that someone kicked it before this afternoon’s games, we'll have to revise our officialness status and see what shakes out.

For Those Interested In Such Things
Here’s how the Hall-of-Fame Death Pool points are scored: Points are earned by subtracting the reported age of the dirt-napper at the time of his death (rounded down to the most-recent birthday) from 100 and multiplying the result by 5. So:
• An 80-year-old would get 100-80=20*5=100 points.
• A 40-year-old would get 100-40=60*5=300 points.

And here’s how the Magic Number works: The team with the Magic Number closest to the Date-of-Death (DoD) will get an extra 25 points. If that team's Magic Number matches the DoD, the team will instead get 50 extra points.

For Those Creeped Out by Such Things
Here's how we justify to ourselves having a Hall-of-Fame Death Pool: "Their major contributions to the world already behind them, baseball Hall-of-Famers will never get the glory they received on the day they were inducted into the Hall-of-Fame until their funerals. We honor living HOFers by putting them into a Death Pool and hoping they will soon receive that final glorious moment in the sun … before they are buried or cremated."

Congratulations, Weston!

The 2018 Season Has Officially Begun!

The SLPL Bobblehead-of-Lettuce

Good luck to one and all!

While we get our act together and set up the league, here are some MLB links — also found in the menu bar up top — you might find useful during the season:


The 2018 SLPL Season Is Officially About To Launch